Bragging Rights

New habit: sharing my successes. Because...

“We all have a different journey to success, and we all have the right to celebrate.”

Old habit: not sharing my successes. Because...

“Sharing makes other people feel like shit.”

I’m wrong for sharing. 
I’m wrong for celebrating. 
I’m wrong for being successful.

So I would refrain from sharing— hold back mentioning, intentionally not say anything when everyone else was discussing their milestones...

Time for a story…

I remember when I first became a matchmaker in 2013, and the 10 or so other matchmakers in my cohort were mentioning how many dates they were getting out each week. And I stayed quiet.

Then the next thing I know, we have a national Zoom. E Jean and Kenneth start talking about “the data” and use me as the example. My numbers were shared on the screen, and I couldn’t deny it.

They said something like, “Julia is generating 50% of the dates... Step it up guys.”

And then no one liked me anymore.

Shortly thereafter, I was promoted. I lost some friends in the process... and I didn’t get many congratulations.

This was all too familiar. It has happened more than a few times in my life where I was publicly honored on a stage and then ostracized consciously and unconsciously because of being the outlier.

Basic things like a school assembly in 9th grade or an 100% Coyle review at a pre-meal meeting in F&B. Same thing always happened.

Whether you know me from high school, college, the professional world, or from life at large, I want to share something now:

If only you knew how hard it was...

I work really hard to fit in... especially when I cannot relate to the “problems” other people are experiencing.

I think differently, and it’s a translation to communicate in an easy-to-comprehend way.

I constantly feel afraid to be seen for my successes because of what I lose after being recognized.

Day in and day out.

And I succeeded because I didn’t give up, even when I felt all alone.

Isn’t that cause to celebrate?

I didn’t think so.

Ah well. At first maybe I did, but once I saw the backlash, I didn’t want to mess with other people’s self-esteem.

But that doesn’t serve anyone.

It actually SERVES other people to share your accomplishments. It’s not bragging either. It’s something called INSPIRING.

I’m sharing because sharing normalizes anyone else out there who was ever publicly shamed for showing up in their fullest shine.

To you I say,

It’s ok to shine.
You have the right to shine.
Be f*cking proud of your successes.

You’ve come a long way and that’s reason to celebrate.

So kudos to you. It’s time to put humility aside: Share one thing you are proud of... 

Julia Armet